Vicious Cycle

Lady A is chasing herself

Striving to feel secure

Man A is pursuing her

And being pursued by Lady B, who he would never prefer

Her admirer, Man B is going after her in a moment’s spur

The best man at his wedding, Man C has a secret love so deep for him that it’s all a blur

And how does this all occur?

It’s the circle of desire

Striving for what we think is higher

Sometimes love is just meant to inspire

Although when it isn’t reciprocated we just try harder

Which only adds fuel to the fire

And we burn ourselves up into a situation of complete dire

A spark from the flame within becomes a wishing star in the sky for whom we’d never entertain

And the cycle continues with only ourselves to blame

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Dear Jesus,

Thank you Lord for helping me

For lifting me up in my times of need

All along you were my missing piece

I appreciate you Jesus for setting me free

The day i got baptised i remember hearing angels sing

I didn’t know it then but i know now you were celebrating

You saved my soul even though i was so undeserving

and i still am unworthy and it was only by your grace that I’m still breathing

I feel and see things that remind me that you are always with me

I pray you continue to protect my family

I pray that you continue to protect everyone living

I pray you continue to protect me

I know that you are real, I have faith in you and I believe

I know i turned my back on you in my past but I’m so glad you never stopped chasing me

I will forever be indebted to you Lord for everything you’ve done and for every single one of my heart beats

I love you

sincerely, your child 💕💕

Confessions of A Dark Road

There she goes, walking towards her dream. It’s in clear sight, yet still so blurry. The moon light hits her face. What a sight to see. She’s blind to her truth, doesn’t want to face reality. So she wanders at night like a rodent in the street, moving in darkness, letting the lights from the cars lead. She wonders if the world in her mind exists or is it only imaginary? As she fades into the shadows of her own mind’s misery.

Today I graduated from Cosmetology school…

so here i am,

a graduate!

i made it!

it’s been a long road

never thought i’d make it this far

everyday i thought i’d give up

but God wouldn’t let me

and thats the honest truth

prayer and effort is what it took

i have many more goals ahead

i’m just going to take them one step at a time

Despite having learning disorders,

social anxiety,

and bipolar disorder,

I still graduated

and i hope my story inspires someone

and i hope whoever needs to hear this, that they never feel like they cant achieve something because of their disabilities or obstacles

thanks for following my journey

sincerely, TheSociallyAnxious30YearOldCosmetologyGraduate

👩🏾‍🎓🎓

Just a soul whose intentions are good (inspired by Nina Simone’s song, “Don’t let me be misunderstood”)

where do these thoughts come from?

why are these thoughts in me?

Is there some grand reason?

Is there something in my future thats meant to be?

No one alive can always be an angel

and I’m certainly no saint

I don’t deserve a thing

I may come off as cold

But its only to protect my heart

I smile but it’s too late

cause its after you’ve walked away

Can’t find the nerve to say hello

So i’d rather let you say goodbye

Or better yet not even have me in your sight

I often can’t articulate what i feel into words

I usually don’t say what i mean

Leaving me misunderstood

but do you understand me now?

now that i’m vulnerable?

now that i can’t put up a fight

You know, sometimes i can be so carefree

With a joy that’s hard to hide

Then sometimes again it seems that all i have is worry

and then youre bound to see my other side

you see, i know i’ve done wrong

but im just a soul whose intentions are good

oh lord, even if i am misunderstood

let the misunderstanding bring peace

rather than to say what i mean and hurt somebody deep

If words can bring life and death

Then my tongue is a blazing hot sword on fire

because Oh, the things i’ve wanted to say

They’d blow up the sun

The sky would fall

Creatures unknown to man would come out of their hiding

Because all hell would most definitely break loose

but i don’t

instead i hold all the rage in

keeping my tongue pinned

Because Lord knows if i didnt, I’d only end up regretting some foolish thing i did

Some simple thing I’ve done

I guess I’ll always be misunderstood

Because I can’t explain and I wouldn’t even if I could…

thinking outloud…

The moon i’m looking at tonight

Is the same moon in everyones’ sight

Same moon

Different perspectives

Making me become self reflective

And here I am

Hanging onto hope

like an unraveling rope

That one tiny, twinkling star in the sky still keeps me alive

It heard my dreams, its why i survive

Speaking my desires into existence to the sky

And God replied

“It’s all yours, if you believe and try”