Just a soul whose intentions are good (inspired by Nina Simone’s song, “Don’t let me be misunderstood”)

where do these thoughts come from?

why are these thoughts in me?

Is there some grand reason?

Is there something in my future thats meant to be?

No one alive can always be an angel

and I’m certainly no saint

I don’t deserve a thing

I may come off as cold

But its only to protect my heart

I smile but it’s too late

cause its after you’ve walked away

Can’t find the nerve to say hello

So i’d rather let you say goodbye

Or better yet not even have me in your sight

I often can’t articulate what i feel into words

I usually don’t say what i mean

Leaving me misunderstood

but do you understand me now?

now that i’m vulnerable?

now that i can’t put up a fight

You know, sometimes i can be so carefree

With a joy that’s hard to hide

Then sometimes again it seems that all i have is worry

and then youre bound to see my other side

you see, i know i’ve done wrong

but im just a soul whose intentions are good

oh lord, even if i am misunderstood

let the misunderstanding bring peace

rather than to say what i mean and hurt somebody deep

If words can bring life and death

Then my tongue is a blazing hot sword on fire

because Oh, the things i’ve wanted to say

They’d blow up the sun

The sky would fall

Creatures unknown to man would come out of their hiding

Because all hell would most definitely break loose

but i don’t

instead i hold all the rage in

keeping my tongue pinned

Because Lord knows if i didnt, I’d only end up regretting some foolish thing i did

Some simple thing I’ve done

I guess I’ll always be misunderstood

Because I can’t explain and I wouldn’t even if I could…

thinking outloud…

The moon i’m looking at tonight

Is the same moon in everyones’ sight

Same moon

Different perspectives

Making me become self reflective

And here I am

Hanging onto hope

like an unraveling rope

That one tiny, twinkling star in the sky still keeps me alive

It heard my dreams, its why i survive

Speaking my desires into existence to the sky

And God replied

“It’s all yours, if you believe and try”

Misconception

Maybe it was just a dream

I mean my sleep does get pretty deep

I might really be out of my mind

and this could be my final sign

I couldve just been imagining things

Probably because now I can barely see

Everything is in my head

my imagination goes beyond my bed

Yeah I’m starting to see how it really is

Shouldve known this is really how it is

silly me

I guess i never could really see

Ive been living in my mind for years

because reality is apart of my fears

But i wont feel sorry for myself

ill just put this memory on the shelf

better yet ill throw it away

far away

it was never real anyway

ill be on to my next delusion, anyday

CREEP (inspired by Radiohead’s song “creep”)

people only like you if youre perfect

if you struggle at something

or if you lack something

they cast you out

outcast by default

whispers grow about you

because they dont understand you

youve got to fit in their box

and youre out if not

you have to be perfect

perfect perfect perfect

i just want to be comfortable

in my own skin

i’ll never fit in their circle

because i don’t follow their unsaid rules

maybe it’s because im not special

or maybe its because im a creep

and im a weirdo

why the hell do i even care

when i know i dont belong there?

written in the stars

cold like the winter breeze in december

warm like the sun rays in may

soft like the skin of a newborn baby

its as real as something i can touch

like something i can feel

and yet still so far out of my reach

but its there waiting for me to attain

what god has for you is yours, period

you have to want it bad enough

you have to strive for it

fight for it

dont let it out of your sight

i can almost taste it

its almost in my hands

my hands

the very hands attached to this old body of mine

can you believe it?

maybe everything that happened in my life had to run its course

perhaps all of the circumstances that occured in my life are the very things that will bring me to it

maybe my flaws were needed for this very special purpose

cuz its mine

im claiming it with confidence

mark my words

it will happen

you just watch and see

maybe im crazy

maybe it sounds like a pipe dream

but its most definitely something im going to achieve

one day

Ever dream of something so big

that you cant even see the whole picture

cant fit it into any ordinary frame

you try to forget it

but its always there

you feel like its meant to be

like its destiny

could it be?

or are you just imagining?

lord when will it be mine?

when is it my time?

tired of waiting in line

feeling like a penny

pretending to be a dime

but i cant stop believing

gotta keep the drean alive

cuz all the stars are aligned

and theres so many signs

there it is

all she ever wanted

waiting to be all hers

the ringing wont stop

cuz she hasnt opened her eyes

to see her alarm clock

to turn it on snooze

just to be with her dreams a little bit longer

making her vision clearer

and a little bit stronger

but its all a blurr

cant see something so bright and perfect

with eyes that are still dimmed

dimmed from the darkness inside her

it always holds her back

but she holds onto hope despite her shortcomings

maybe faith and belief in a god greater than her doubts is all she needs?

deep down, she still believes

yes, i still believe….